Is it important for me to pray together with my spouse? Or is it enough if both of use pray, but not together? Here are my thoughts on the subject!
Let us image that we are attending a Christian conference with the theme „Building strong marriages.” During the conference you would for sure be presented with lots of keys to great marriages. They would probably not use the keys to promise a perfect marriage, because such a thing as a perfect marriage doesn’t exist. The way I see it a perfect marriage only exists to the extent that it is a perfect imperfect marriage.
I do believe that are lots of keys and actions that will help us grow strong together in our marriages, and it is no secret that praying is one of those. Personally I am not very good at actually praying with my wife, so even though I know the importance of prayer in unity with my wife, I do not at all believe myself to master this in practice. Isn’t that typical? We know what would be right to do, but we have such a hard time actually doing it?
As you read through the five reasons to pray together with your spouse please bear in mind that the article is written by someone having just a hard time living out this in action as you do (I am probably even worse than you).
Connecting with one another in spirit
In Ecclesiastes 4:12 we can read that „A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This is a verse many use about a marriage between a man, a wife and God. Such a marriage consisting of these three together is strong and is not quickly broken. Amen to that! But, it can also be understood as how a marriage in which husband and wife is connected, not only with their bodies and with their souls, but also in spirit as they together worship God and come before his throne in prayer. As we come together before God with our spouse we connect to God and to one another on a deeper level. And a couple connected to one another both in body, soul and spirit it will for sure be a hard to split for the devil and his helpers.
There is power in united prayer
You might remember how Jesus said „For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” This is a strange saying in the Bible. Is there more power in a prayer if I pray it together with someone, compared to praying it all by myself while walking to my job? The answer is both yes and no! God can do miracles based on a little prayer said by one single person, but it is also clearly stated in the Bible that coming together to pray comes with great power. In a marriage it is therefore important to have both a personal prayer life and a united prayer life. There is power in both of them!
Prayer sets direction
Prayer isn’t supposed to be us sharing our „prayer list” with God and game over. It is about so much more and as we communicate with God in prayer we express our feelings, our hearts, our pains, our sorrows, our joys, our triumphs, our victories, our failures and our fears. Expressing these to God opens up for intimacy with God and with our spouse. It is also interesting to see how prayer sets direction. Have you ever prayed for something and ended up being the prayer answer yourself? When you pray together with your spouse for something it will set direction for you. It will set focus and it will be something you do together. Maybe you pray for children growing up without parents. The next week in church you hear about the chance of adoption, and suddenly both your hearts are set on fire. God laid a foundation in you as a couple through prayer and it sets direction for the future.
It doesn’t need to happen like this, but praying together with turn your spirits in the same direction. As a consequence it will be much easier for God to direct you both together in unity in the same direction.
The art of speaking is almost lost
We are bombarded with messages all the time. Your mobile phone keeps beeping with new messages. In the moment you lay down your phone special lights start blinking telling you that a Facebook message has just arrived (or something like that). When you have checked the message and laid aside your phone (again) you get a push message from Netflix about a new episode of your favorite TV show. With all this action taking place around you quality time with your spouse is often limited to staring at the TV together. I love watching TV with my wife, but if that is all quality time together is about, then something is lacking. We most not forget about the art of speaking.
There are lots of stumbling blocks coming up here. Some couples love speaking and forget about praying. It’s good to chat, but prayer is also needed. But, a couple that only pray together (for a few minutes) and skip chatting are also on the wrong road. To be able to pray together conversation is needed. We need to share our hearts and only then will we be able to come before God wholeheartedly and praying for the needs of our fantastic spouse. After a good conversation it is also much easier to give thanks to God for all the great stuff he has done.
The challenge I give to myself as I write this is to set aside much more time for actually speaking and praying with my wife. Since time is limited this will happen on the cost of other activities like watching TV series, but it is for sure worth it!
You want the best for your spouse
I hope you want all the best for your spouse. And if you do there are few things that will actually help your spouse more than praying together in unity. I have personally experienced how praying together with my wife has solved problems in a few seconds. It could be fear, disappointment, confusion… and during a second of prayer the problems just dissolved and God fixed it. Are you having a hard time in your marriage? Come together for prayer, it is for sure a step in the right direction. As we humble ourselves before God and pray he will come and heal our nations, and also our marriages. If you have seen the movie Fireproof then you will there see the importance of praying for your spouse, but if it can be done, then the very best is praying with your spouse.
I feel like praying – what about you?
Have you been inspired by this article? Do you experience struggles when it comes to praying together with your spouse? Or have you got a strategy or a tool that helps you when it comes to praying together with your husband/wife? I would love to read your comments or thoughts on this article, and I will do my best to answer myself if I can be of assistance in any way!